Don't Forget Where You Came From
This essay delves into the poignant, but all too limiting reminder that children raised in poverty and abuse receive: "Don't forget where you came from." For those of us growing up with limited resources, we must later unpack the poverty mindset that has been ingrained in our thinking. When we understand that enduring poverty lies not just in financial scarcity but in the mental barriers it creates, we are free to create lives of abundance.
Christy Armendariz
Has anyone ever told you, “Don’t forget where you came from?” I remember my mom saying this to me when I was about 48 years old. I had just created a startup telemedicine company and I had the highest of hopes and outlook. I put in a lot of work to get it live and I would share with her how exciting it all was. That’s when she said, "No matter how successful you become, don’t ever forget where you came from.”
Where I came from was the fourth of five children. My mom was only 20 years old when I was born. We lived in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom house, and the five of us kids slept in the basement. Everyone in our neighborhood had it about the same. Some were a little better off, some a little worse. There were lots of kids and we played outside all the time.
We were poor in the sense that we received free healthcare most of the time, as well as food stamps and commodities when we qualified. We were fed and the lights never got shut off.
Over time, I began to realize people who grew up like me were probably told, “Don’t forget where you came from,” as a regular mantra and recurring mantra to never expect that could be anything more than the place and circumstances we were born into. This phrase, full of disheartened meaning, was easily tossed about at the moment we might ever posture to believe we might successfully emerge from our poverty mindset.
And therein lies the real poverty issue - mindset. There is no greater trap than one's own mind, creating both their perceived and actual reality. In every instance, this mindset is such a natural environment for the individual that the mere contemplation of living a life so fantastically full of potential and abundance is near impossible.
But I believe we can change that. Financial poverty can be changed within a week. It’s the poverty mindset that is so difficult to overcome.
My intention of “Where I Came From” is to shine a light on all things that drive what I have coined as the "poverty mindset" that impacts each area of our lives well into adulthood. This mindset influences...
The people we surround ourselves with.
The fear of being rejected by those we have learned to love.
The struggle to trust.
The fear of not having enough.
It is my sincere hope that this endeavor will not only be especially helpful to people who live or have been raised in poverty but also for others within their orbit to better understand the poverty mindset. Teachers, healthcare professionals, legislators, law enforcement personnel, and employers, must all have a better understanding of the historical life circumstances and implications these have upon the mindset of those they interact with daily. Especially for those in positions of authority, a clearer picture of how poverty and abuse have impacted the mindset of those they are meant to serve can only prove to benefit all of us.
Make no mistake, this is for people to understand their circumstances and look inward to do the very hard work to overcome the paradigms they were raised to live by.
Change does not happen from the outside, it must come from within.